Lei Ming (Ray to us Westerners) is now able to post updates on his Facebook page. Follow @lifebeyondmybody to make sure you never miss a letter from Ray.
I was very lost when I got back to China, having to give up my speakings at Gender Odyssey and Trans Health Conference due to visa issue, on the other hand, the life I used to have could not be resumed.
I went to Guangzhou where I lived for many years to start all over again. Soon I found a job in a underground Christian organization, and then even a girlfriend who is American, white, 16 years older, and unfortunately an ultra conservative Christian. This lady involved with the people I used to fellowship with. She told me that a group of people already know my identity. The copy of my ID with F gender mark was exposed in the school where I used to work, and the word spread, but not everybody knew it yet. My ex feared she would be fired as a teacher in a Christian school for having a relationship with me, which was considered homosexual and thus sinful, most of all, she feared she would go to hell. Her boss, an American pastor counseled her and asked her to cut off every connection with me. Finally, she changed her mind, denied my gender and persuaded me to repent.
A few months later, my boss found my transgender identity through my email address I accidentally used when I sent a file to him. My boss was a pastor from America too. I had been attending his church back then. He accused me of lying and not accepting God`s creation, while I challenged him, he announced in his church that I`m lesbian who had sex change and expelled me, and I lost my job. Now everybody knew it. The friends I cared agreed with the pastor and rejected me. My world collapsed.
For long time I was down and couldn’t function well. I`m beginning to feel better after more than one year of mourning and healing and decide it`s time to rise up.