Dear friends,

In China, there is a festival which does not originate from domestic tradition nor from abroad, but from campus culture. It`s a kind of self-mockery and popular among the young people: Bachelors’ Day. Bachelor in Chinese is “guanggun” which literally means bare stick, and it is celebrated on 11/11 — a date that resembles four bare sticks.

It is said Bachelor`s Day started in 90`s in a university in Nanjing. Now it has become a trend, especially on campuses. Young singles living in the same dorm will either have a dinner party, go out collectively, or shop to treat themselves. Thus it has also become a shopping season with sellers grasping and advertising long before it arrives. I have never treated myself on this day, but maybe I will when I find a partner.

It has been 7 years since my last relationship. To be honest, for a long time, I didn’t enjoy being single. It seemed a shame. Around me, married couples were immersed in the glow of love, while I was all alone, standing outside the gate of marriage, looking in eagerly.

My deeply rooted sense of loneliness and longing for intimacy gives marriage the alluring radiance of the ideal. I wonder if this gate will be shut to me forever. I fear, when I disclose my secrets to a woman I cherish, she will reject me. But, over time, I have come to know happiness does not depend on being single or married — it lies in wisdom.

Proverbs 3:18 says, “Wisdom is a life-giving tree, the source of happiness for all who hold on to her.” (CEV)

We tend to be sensitive about what we don`t have rather than what we do have, but I am learning to understand the gifts of being being single: I am enjoying freedom married people don’t have, there are possibly surprises in my future, I have room to imagine my next romance, and I still have time to prepare myself to be a more fulfilled person who can love better. So, I am learning Bachelors’ Day is worth celebrating.

Happy Bachelors’ Day to all my single readers! How do you cherish yourself so you can cherish others better? Please write and tell me in the comments.

I look forward to hearing from you!

Ray